Each person is kind in his or her own way.

Kindness is a virtue I’ve been nurturing for the past several years. It’s led me down a few paths --being seen as too nice and passive or making an effort (perhaps visible to others) that makes the kindness feel disingenuous. Neither were my goal. But there have been delightful moments of connection with others that tell me I’m on the right path.

At work, I combine kindness with trust, patience and flexibility. I try to create safe (but still intellectually stimulating) spaces to experiment and try things out. Some people prefer more structure, requiring me to combine kindness with respect and humility. It doesn’t always come out right, but I’ve learned so much about people along the way.

Outside of work, there are my friends and family as well as my volunteer community. With friends, I combine kindness with a sense of belonging, generosity and loyalty. I’m always aiming for a loose and easy interaction, but deeply meaningful when the moment is right. I prefer to hear about your inner thoughts rather than chit chat. With the volunteer community, I combine kindness with service, empathy and warmth. There are brief moments with the patients when they can smile, hold hands and pet Ragu. There are also the moments when I get told to go away. The kind thing to do would be to say you’re thinking of them and you’ll be back for another visit later.

All of this reflection about kindness comes from the most recent book I read “The Power of Kindness.” In it, the author explores how kindness, in conjunction with other virtues, can play out in our daily lives. He has personal stories (lots of insights come from his son) and cultural storytelling. It solidifies your thoughts on your own way of being kind.